Someone great once said, listen to your heart. Eventually, everyone else adapted that quote and made their own versions of it, my generation however doesn't exactly know how to follow it.
Growing up with the internet has made my generation a group of emotional wrecks. Im-ing, texting and blogging all give us emotional outlets to get caught up in situations which allow us to express and create feelings we wouldn't have said or felt if we talked face to face. Not to mention emo's found their way to main stream culture making it the "cool' thing to be dramatically depressed. Heartfelt emails, im-ing until four in the morning, crying and lurking the pages of ones we once loved have come like second nature to us. The real question I'm now wondering is what effect has this had on the all the relationships were in. One of the good things has been were able to get to know people in quicker time and talk more frequently without excuses. Im-ing has the ability to bring up any topic in a matter of seconds, share our favorite music with one another and ask personal things that would be harder to do when confronted with one another. The other bonus is the element of "fantasy" it has created. It is so easy to type poetic feelings and songs of love to one another. It is also easier to fight about any little feeling or problem you have. I could go on for a lot longer about all the affects this has had on young adults love lives but the main question I've been pondering is have most of us lost sight of the big picture?
I find so many of us have these quotes about following our hearts, staying true to ourselves and going after our dreams slathered all over our facebook's and myspaces. So much of this seems like a novelty to me, most people are scared to put themselves out in the world as anything other then objects of aesthetic worship such as myspace stars or musicans. Even I can admit to having a fear of what impact confronting my deepest emotions could have. This blog alone has put me in a position where my feelings are made fun of and laughed at by ex’s and their friends daily. I want so badly to follow my heart and tell people how I truly feel but when after so long all it ever brings me is embarrassment, emptiness and breakdowns I'm a lot more cautious. I’ve toned down a lot of my feelings and find myself trying my hardest to feel numb and try and fit in. My best friends however see behind that, I love them for it but I hate so much how I burden them with what I have to keep inside myself.
What happened to the days when telling a person you loved them via love letter or in person it MEANT something. I feel like the emails I've sent with my feelings have been disregarded, deleted and burnt. Sent to the bottomless hell of internet trash talking where I and anyone else who's emails of affection that have gone unanswered remain. Are the letters we send to one another taken seriously by the recipient? Can an email really change the opinion of someone you love that is too caught up with the drama to even consider the fact they might- just MAYBE love you back? I know that I personally have too much hope in situations like this but my friends and hundreds of other people out their ask the same questions when they send their last hope in an email.
Last resort emails have worked, one example being Big in the Sex and the City Movie sending emails to Carrie. This however, didn't work until she took a huge step back and saw the big picture. She had to let go of her grudge for the wedding not working out and see that she truly loved him and couldn't be happy without him. Sadly, I find that us teenagers get to caught up- caught up in the embarrassment of what our friends would think; after shit talking the said love one for so long and it ends up hindering our motivation to see the truth in how we really feel. What I have found frustrating and admit to doing all the time is how we seem to anonymously talk to the person we're in love with or hurt by indirectly; through our msn names and facebook status messages. Most often in the expression of lyrics we relate to. Does this talking to air strengthen our love for the ones with miss and fuel our hate towards the ones who have hurt us? Also, when you find out the other person is writing things, so obviously about you; good or bad. Doesn’t that mean they still have feelings for you? You wouldn’t do that about someone you didn’t care about and obviously if your shoving something like that into the public deep down in your heart you WANT them to see the message, right?
With every last decision, conversation and feeling of ours being exposed on the internet, I don't think most of us have the ability to follow our hearts anymore. I may not care what people think about me to a certain extent but when I know how the person I like will react I've just pretty much given up. I think that the relationships where the two people are madly in love are ones you have to fight for. If both people aren't strong enough to see the big picture and follow what is truly in their hearts- behind all the pride, gossip and "what people would say if their relationship status on facebook changed to that certain person" then there’s just no hope. There is going to be a lot of unhappy people walking around with the words what if stuck in their mind in ten years for sure. In a way, we've been brainwashed into tragedy loving, stubborn idiots who are completely incapable of being truly happy. It's just so frustrating when you know there is someone out there who cares enough to write about how you hurt them in their msn name but no amount of emails could explain or change the outcome of the hell and drama you both fell into.
R.I.P following your heart.
